There's three men One came from Asia the other came from Africa the last one came from Michigan. The one who came from Africa was barefoot and had a hat on that man was very very poor. The one who came from Asia is wearing a little hat and has sandals on and is a little bit poor but not to much. The one who’s from Michigan is rich. He invited them here to a peace meeting. Two of the men are standing the other is sitting. Even though the man from Michigan is rich he’s very kind. Good by!
Dear Selena,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed seeing your 100 word essay about the picture. It is very interesting to me to see what you wrote. You have it right that many in Africa suffer greatly due to poverty. Same is true in Asia. We are so blessed in America! Even when we think we are not, we have common things like clean water, enough food to eat, good sanitation, amazing medical products and doctors. We also have very large homes to live in compared to others in other countries: many of whom live in one room all together!!
Keep up your great work blogging!! So cool that your class is learning to work with computers and blog.
Above comment from Mommy Dearest ;0)
ReplyDeleteDear Selena,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed seeing your 100 word essay about the picture. It is very interesting to me to see what you wrote. You have it right that many in Africa suffer greatly due to poverty. Same is true in Asia. We are so blessed in America! Even when we think we are not, we have common things like clean water, enough food to eat, good sanitation, amazing medical products and doctors. We also have very large homes to live in compared to others in other countries: many of whom live in one room all together!!
Keep up your great work blogging!! So cool that your class is learning to work with computers and blog.
Hello Selena,
ReplyDeleteAt first I though you had already received comments for your story but the second comment gave away the source of your longer comment. We can trust our moms to be there for us. :)
You have not only looked closely at the appearance of the three men, shown by your descriptions, you have added information to bring the characters to life. The three men are meeting to discuss peace, something all of the world should seek. Well done.
I can see you have tried to use correct spelling and punctuation. Again, well done.
There were some small errors you missed when editing where perhaps a new sentence might have been taken. I know how easily this can happen. I have to reread my own writing more than once to find the small errors I always make when keen to share.
Your mother also makes a good point in her comment. We are blessed if we live in countries where we have “clean water, enough food to eat, good sanitation, amazing medical products and doctors”.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia